cryguy.

who hears crickets in February?
who walks under a moonlit sky without worrying so much about slipping, falling, or salt leaching?

when i do something, nobody asks why.
is it because they don't want to know the answer?
or is it because they are satisfied with their assumption?

in recent days have I lacked the will to create? or simply the means?

today i was watching "Man Made" on natgeo. it was the ferrari factory at maranello. one of the first things that came to mind is the absolute alienation of labor one must feel working at factory that makes cars that they will never be able to drive. it took until now (about 3 hours) to realize, as crazy as it sounds, not everyone would want to own or drive a ferrari.

those workers that sew together the leather that some piece of shit hedgefund kid stupid ass is gonna plop down in... they still take pride in a job well done. they are thankful some dumb billy goat yokel won the lottery... it pays the bills.

it took me hours to reach this conclusion... at that's what i'm getting at. i have a hard time putting myself in others' shoes sometimes. in this case though, it doesn't particularly matter, as in all likelihood the paths of ferrari owners, ferrari workers and myself will not cross, other than in the briefest of moments while i ring up their "I had a blast in Minnesota" shot glass.

i can't pick proper battles. i am easily distracted. I am EASILY distracted.

I got to thinking the other day... along the lines of... cyborgs and the techno-elitism of our culture. how, in our information society, is it that the completely ignorant benefit.... how do i explain...

well take for instance the following example--neuropharmacological drugs. i believe, in my brief experience with mild-altering drugs, some prescribed, some not, that they do not change who i am... they change how i operate. i forget who now, but someone had argued against fukuyama, whom makes the distinction between 'recreational' and 'therapeutic.' well... i ask this question: "is recreation not therapy for the chronically disengaged?"

at what point does recreation emerge? you see... easily distracted... i am wrapped up constantly in semantics before i can elaborate and build a foundation for an argument. this i feel, results in nearly all of my communication appearing to be pure sophistry to me. talk about depressing.

how do i fix this? is it broken? i don't even know.

the rantings of a mad man... or the maddening of a ranting man?